Thursday, August 18, 2011

Marital Priorities

Earlier this week I was blessed to visit an old friend in Delhi.  She worked for us when we lived there, helping me around the house.  She's got four daughters and a son and we love their family so dearly.  They are very poor Christians with such servant hearts and are some of the most genuine, loving people I know.

The last few times we've visited their house, there's been a guy there who is a distant cousin or something.  This time when we arrived, the first thing that went through my mind when I saw him was that he must want to marry the oldest girl, who is now about 21.  : )  Sure enough, they really like each other and want to get married!  We were so excited to hear it!  They are both strong Christians with a deep faith and are just wonderful people.  But things are not looking good for them.

It confused my happy heart to hear how his parents don't want him to marry Soma because first and foremost, she is too short for him.  He is taller than the average guy, and she is shorter than the average girl here.  There is a pretty good height disparity between the two of them.  Apparently here, bride and groom should be the same height.  His parents have been encouraging him to marry another girl who is the same height as him.  Their other objection is that he is about 9 years older than Soma. They were all really confused, because they really love each other.  He told us even their pastors are encouraging them not to marry because everyone in the church will have bad thoughts (apparently related to the disparity in their heights and ages).  He said he asked the pastors to show where in the Bible it said you had to be the same height as your spouse.  Awesome. : )

They aren't sure what to do because they don't want to go against the wishes of everyone in such a communal society.  But they don't feel right about marrying other people either.  Soma's mother, my dear friend, told us she was really against it at first, mainly because of their ages, but after praying about it for a long time, she felt God tell her that this man was theirs, their son, and to love him and allow him into their family.  She was in tears because she wants to obey God, but doesn't want to have any opposition in her church or his family in doing so.  They've wisely taken some time to just pray over the whole situation in hopes that in time, God will unite the hearts of everyone involved.

It's hard to understand why height and age are more of a priority than the fact that these two young people have a shared faith and purpose for their lives, love each other, and desire to be married.  I left with a heavy heart, encouraging them to keep praying, believing that God CAN change the hearts of his parents.  Soma is so sweet and such a precious person, I have no doubt that in time, they will come to love her and see her incredible worthiness of character.

Praying for these two...

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