Anticipation

We are really near the end of this.  I'm imagining more and more life with four children, toting Meryn around on my hip, playing with her and Levi together, how Levi will respond to not being the baby anymore. : )  My heart longs for her, even for a new picture of her, just to see how her hair is growing or how chubby her cheeks are, or if she's sitting on her own yet.  It's such a strange feeling, having three of your children on one continent, and one on another.  It makes it almost impossible to be fully where you are, in your heart or mind.

For over a year now, we've lived with the feeling of daily anticipation.  Looking every day at email first thing to see if there will be any information, any news about our child who is in another country.  It can be really exhausting, living with that kind of anticipation and expectation, and can really take over your thoughts at times, especially when the anticipated event or information is unrealized.

But for the last few days, I've been feeling like I can see through the cloud of anticipation, beyond this stage to the next, where we're a family of six, and my email doesn't hold near the interest to me that it does right now. To a time when I can wholeheartedly focus on being at HOME with my KIDS, because they'll all be under one roof.  Lord, please hasten the day!

But in the meantime, I'm preparing some goodies for those we'll see in Africa when we go pick up sweet Meryn.  Her special nanny is so special.  Her name is Aynalem, and she has only worked at the care center for about 8 months.  Meryn will be her first baby to go home.  So I thought I would start a memory book for her.  I bought a beautiful silk covered photo album here in town and loaded it up with pictures of her and Meryn, and some of our family and her three babies she's caring for right now, on the opposite page.  I also wrote to the other two mama's to ask them if they'd bring some pictures ready to stick in for their family pages.  Then I'm hoping Aynalem can show this to all the families that come for her babies in the future, and ask them to bring pictures on their second trip, for her to add to remember all her babies by.

I have a deep love and connection to this woman, because she is the only mother my daughter has known yet.  They are attached at the hip, I hear. : ) I want to bless her over and over for her love and service to our daughter, and our family. I want her to feel so treasured and special.  I want to try to relieve some of the inevitable grieving she will feel on this first go around of parting with a baby she's cared for and watched grow for 8 months.  I'm praying for her heart as she prepares to let go...