On Pins and Needles

We are sensing that our referral is coming any day.  Our agency uses a private Yahoo group for families to communicate with each other.  They send out regular Family Progress Reports, detailing who's where in the process.  It was easy for an obsessive person like me to look at the report just before we got on it and see what families were there and make a list.  As the reports come out and families get their referrals, I've been ticking them off.  So on Saturday, the only other family that was on the list before us accepted their referral.  From what we can tell... we're next or close to next.

Every time I stop and think about that I will see her face soon... that I will see that email in my inbox... that I will read her name and how old she is and her general health... I get such butterflies.  The anticipation is so. much. fun.  I cannot wait to see her face!  I wish it would hurry up and come...

But at the same time, we've been able to just go on with our life the past few months and wait patiently...  Once we have her face and her name and begin to know her and treasure her, I think this waiting will begin to be much, much harder.  I realized today that if I get to see her face this week, it will be close to Christmas before I get to kiss it.  And it will be March or April before I get to carry her home for good.  That's a really long time.  I've spent six months separated from Paul when we were engaged, and it is really difficult.  Oh, this sweet little baby will not even be able to send me an email to let me know how she's doing! : )  I'll just have to wait for other traveling families to post pictures and hope I get a glimpse of her in them...

And the waiting continues...